Wanted: Battle Guitarist
http://houseofham.tumblr.com/post/11986 ... -guitarist
tumblr - House of Ham
May 25, 2015
JOB TITLE: Battle Guitarist - CS-0303-11
AGENCY: Interior, Bureau of Citadel Affairs
SALARY RANGE: $38,896 to $42,965 Per Year
POSITION INFORMATION: Full Time - Permanent
DUTY LOCATION: 1 vacancy in the following location: Desert Wasteland, Australia
SECURITY CLEARANCE: Public Trust - Background Check
SUPERVISORY STATUS: No
JOB SUMMARY:
The Bureau of Citadel Affairs is the lead agency in Australia for managing relationships with post-apocalyptic allies and enemies throughout the region. A challenging and dynamic place to work, it enhances community engagement and quality of life for a lucky chosen few, and carries out the responsibility to protect and improve the trust assets of the Citadel.
TRAVEL REQUIRED
Yes
SUMMARY OF DUTIES:
Represent the Citadel as lead guitarist for all official state trips and battles.
Coordinate team meetings, schedule, setlist, and logistics with traveling Battle Drum Corps.
Assist Regional Director on assigned matters as an authoritative representative of community outreach.
Motivate warriors and warlords in-transit through all fields of battle in diverse and challenging environments.
QUALIFICATIONS REQUIRED:
Advanced double-neck guitar skills with emphasis on shredding, dischord, and sludge metal riffs.
Advanced stunt work certification with experience in high-speed desert car chases and vehicular acrobatics.
Specialized hands-on experience with military-grade flamethrowers.
Weather resistant.
SPECIAL REQUIREMENTS:
Official battle guitarist uniform: Red onesie and head-covering mask made from your dead mother’s face.
You will be evaluated on the basis of your level of competency in the following areas:
Ability to successfully narrate and convey the mood and pace of battle to all participants.
Ability to work, play, communicate, and sleep while attached to harness-bungee suspension system.
Ability to withstand 150 decibels for days and weeks at a time.
Stage presence, including but not limited to: make-up, costuming, attitude, energy, and audience participation.
War Boys Department evaluation.
Guitar modifications.
Time management.
The Bureau of Citadel Affairs provides reasonable accommodations to applicants with disabilities. If you need a reasonable accommodation for any part of the application and hiring process, please notify the Citadel civilian personnel unit.
#madmax #government #outreach #battlemusic